Murdered by My Boyfriend// Review

Just a warning for those who are more sensitive to this kind of thing, please do not read if you are easily upset by violence or domestic abuse, as this post may trigger some overwhelming thoughts.

For those of you who don't really watch anything on BBC Three, 'Murdered by my Boyfriend' is/was a program that was first broadcasted on the 23rd of June, 2014. It came to my attention in the back end of my relationship, where I'd tell my friends what I was going through and asking if their boyfriends did the same thing, to which they'd respond 'Murdered by my Boyfriend much?'. I wondered what they were going on about and decided to sit down and watch it last week, for the first time. Boy, were my eyes opened.

Murdered by my Boyfriend is based on a true story. It all begins when 17 year old beauty student, Ashley Jones (names were changed to protect people for obvious reasons) meets her 'perfect stranger' at a house party, Reece. He seems charming and handsome. And so their love story begins...
 Ashley and Reece meet again at their local shopping centre and begin to blossom, learning more and more about each other. As the relationship progresses, Ashley becomes more enticed by Reece and his charming yet mysterious ways. His controlling streak begins to reveal itself as he grows inquisitive as to who she is talking to and texting.

 After three months, Ashley is about two weeks pregnant and is selfishly talked into keeping it by Reece to the dismay of herself and her mother. The abusive streak is then revealed after she asks to get rid of the 'kennel registered' fighting dogs Reece breeds for the protection of the baby, as the argument ends in pregnant Ashley's head being smashed against a wall.
 Throughout the 1hr film, we see Reece reveal more and more about his controlling and abusive behavior as he scours through Ashley's personal profile, text messages, controls what she wears, demands her to send him 'selfies' to prove where she is/who she's with and even proceeds to beat her in the presence of there child.
 After being beaten up in the public eye of her work place, Ashley breaks things off with Reece and takes full custody of their child, Jasmine. She is visibly a new person, happy and healthy whilst bonding with her daughter and catching up with her friends. However, things don't remain sunny and rose tinted for long as Reece continues to pester and harass Ashley for another chance. As an audience we feel proud of her for denying these peace offerings, because we all know/should know it is the phase a perpetrator of domestic violence uses on the victim. This phase is  called the 'honeymoon period' where he/she promises there will be no more abusive incidents to lure them into a relationship which will grow more controlling, because it makes the victim look and seem weaker and less likely to leave no matter what the perpetrator puts them through.
 Ashley goes out for a hen night and has a one night stand with high-school sweetheart, Jamie. Despite being very affectionate for her, Jamie doesn't want to put himself or Ashley at risk as he is aware Reece is still interested and thinks she is his 'possession'. This obviously hurts her (wouldn't it hurt anyone going through that?) and leads her into a moment of madness where she thinks she isn't going to get anyone better and takes Reece back...

"How many times could I tell him to go? How many times could I call the police? How many times would I have to give up exhausted, and let him back in? With every punch, every bruise, every word. He destroyed the last thing I held on to. Hope. And without hope, I was nothing. He made me nothing." 

Reece proposes to Ashley as though he genuinely cares, when all he wants is to keep her trapped in his vicious cycle for the rest of her life. He soon grows inquisitive about the hen party and proceeds to go out into every night club trying to find things out as to whether she did sleep with or talk to anyone. Drunk and disorderly, he stumbles into bed and interrogates Ashley to the point where she gives in and screams at him, revealing the truth. Reece drags her out of bed, beating her to death and is walked in on by their young child, which angers him more as he puts her back to bed and proceeds to use an ironing board as a weapon to finish off and ultimately kill Ashley...

This is sadly a true story and it really did upset me. It was something I chose to watch alone so I could let out my anger and emotions without anyone seeing.
 I'm now aware I can 99.9% relate to the content of this story. Yes, I was assaulted. Yes, I was manipulated and controlled. Yes, I had to dress extremely modestly, go makeup-less and send photos proving where I was and who I was with. Yes, at one point I was pressured into having a baby (I did decline this but the end results weren't pretty). No, I didn't stand for it any longer and left for good. Sadly, this young woman felt trapped and that she couldn't escape. It's a lot easier said than done, getting out of these relationships. This film showed just how quickly relationships can turn sinister and far from romantic...

I loved this film though, despite how much it hurt and upset me. It was such an accurate demonstration on domestic violence and the fact that it was based on a true story made it all the more powerful. What made it even more powerful was the fact the producers kept the child as part of the story and even included her in the death scene with her hysterically crying and shouting 'I want my mummy'.
 The acting, however, wasn't great. It was realistic but could have been polished up a bit more. Examples of this would be the honeymoon periods, which could have been a bit more genuine. There were painfully long pauses before pet names were used and it all seemed a bit sloppy when Ashley was pleading for forgiveness.
Saying that, I love how the director, Paul Andrew Williams, incorporated what Ashley was feeling in quick scenes. For example, when she confronts Reece for cheating on him and it backfires, it shoots straight to a clip of Ashley screaming whilst Reece continues to talk at her, and then shoots straight back to the confrontation scene.

I loved every minute of this film. It captured all the details of domestic violence perfectly and accurately. I definitely recommend watching it just so you can get a sense on what victims feel throughout these experiences. It really is an eye-opener. Rumor has it that it's airing again on BBC Three on the 26th of March this year at 9.00pm. Can't make it? Watch it on iPlayer after it has been on or you can watch it here on YouTube (don't worry the quality is great and there's no buffering, depending on your internet of course!).

Three words to describe it: Relatable, powerful and moving

Star rating: ☆☆☆☆


Note: If yourself or a friend are experiencing domestic violence (this can be an abusive relationship or child abuse) then there are hotlines available if you need someone to talk to. You can also pop up to me as it is something I have experienced first hand and I am ALWAYS willing to help. Never be ashamed to ask for help, it is a horrible situation to go through alone. Also never forget, boys and members of same sex and trans. relationships can experience domestic violence too!

You can read about my experience with domestic violence here


Hotlines:

Childline: 0800 1111

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247


Please, stay safe and never try to go through anything alone! Love to you all and thank you for reading! xo