I just hate chart music
This year in the charts, like always, us Brits have produced and been introduced to some pretty rubbish music. In this post, I will be writing a short entry about ten chart songs that have annoyed me this year. Either because of the stupid lyrics, composition or just because it's down right stupid.
1. Meghan Trainor- All About That Bass
I know what you're thinking, a song about positive body image cannot be harmful or stupid to the people listening, but to enlighten you, this is awful. This song is basically shaming girls who are 'skinny bitches'. Now, whilst I think promoting the fact beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes is good, this is not the right way to go about it. Not all slim girls look down their noses at slightly bigger people. Also, some people just can't help being small whether it's from genetics or an eating disorder. The fact the artist has just put out that 'boys like a little more booty to hold at night' or referring to slim girls 'silicon Barbie dolls' doesn't show positive self esteem either, just the same message the media have been putting across to girls for god knows how long.."you need to look like this or you will be alone". 1) It's not ending the conflict between skinny and curvy girls 2) it's just objectifying the female anatomy. Plus the composition and vocals just really annoy me as well.
2. Nicki Minaj- Anaconda
Where do I start with this absolute catastrophe. The beat is annoying and the lyrics just consist of Nicki Minaj slut shaming herself and giving off the impression she is a complete gold digger. 'Bought my Alexander McQueen, he was keeping me stylish'. The amount of money you make, Nicki, I think you can buy your own friggin' Alexander McQueen. Again, there's the issue with body shaming as well. For those of you who don't get what the song is referring to, 'my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun' means 'my penis won't get excited unless you have a big bum, small waist and massive titties'. The bridge also includes Minaj cackling manically saying 'skinny bitches can get out the f*cking club'.
However, I find it slightly amusing how Nicki Minaj walked down the red carpet for an award ceremony or something and told numerous interviewers she was going to 'calm down' and keep her look 'classy' then two months later BOOM! She is wiggling her full moon in front of a camera for a music video. Quite frankly, if I was in a bar or club completely off my face I still wouldn't dance to that, the rhythm is that annoying.
3. Iggy Azalea ft. Rita Ora- Black Widow
I really don't get the concept of this song. It's named after an Australlian (emphasis on Australlian as Iggy Azalea composed the song with modern Japanese sounds) spider who eats its mate after having kids. The lyrics don't even fit together properly and the music video just isn't relevant. The song just consists of Iggy Azalea talking about how she's trying to hurt a guy who doesn't even give a shade of shit about her anyway, so my question is 'why bother?', with Rita Ora occasionally contributing with some chorus that doesn't even make sense. The video isn't even relevant. It's just about Rita and Iggy going off to kill random old dudes and dancing about with Samurai swords amongst Japanese blossom trees.
4. Lorde- Royals
I can see where this is going to go, she is seventeen and already has an amazing career lined up for her. I will be marked as jealous.
Now don't get me wrong, some of her music is great and she is stupidly beautiful. But, am I the only one who thinks she's trying a little too hard to be different and clever with her lyrics? There's being different and creative with lyrics and poetry, then there's just throwing random stuff that sounds all indie together to create a song that makes no sense. One good thing about this song though is that if you turn up the bass in your car, the sound quality is crackin' and it's great to cruise along to.
5. Will.i.am & Cody Wise- It's My Birthday
I think we can all agree that this was Summer 2014's most overplayed and annoying song. Not necessarily the dim-witted lyrics about going out, wasting money and speaking in Japanese but just because of how repetitive and long it is. The voices of both Will.i.am and Cody Wise put together make the most annoying combination. Also, it was just played too much. If it was played once every few days on the radio it would be a bit less annoying, but still really bad. Guys, please don't make any more songs together.
6. Frozen- Let it Go
I'm not going to blame Indina Menzel for this song because she didn't write it, the directors and script producers of Frozen did. But that is besides the point. This song has been in the charts since Christmas last year and has been played, sung and promoted over and over and over again. Because it's Christmas season now, it's going to get even worse yet again. I love the song, it makes me feel all Christmassy and the film is probably one of my favourites, but the amount of press this song got is ridiculous. Can we please bring another Frozen song into the light? Love is an Open Door? Frozen Heart? Give this one a rest and stop overplaying it, it's too good to get ruined.
7. Sigma- Nobody to Love
I don't know whether this is house music, drum and bass or whatever but regardless, it is annoying. 'I know you're tired of loving, of loving with nobody to love'. How is it emotionally possible to love when you physically do not have anyone to love? Is this person you are singing about like eye-fucking herself or in love with an imaginary person? She's loving somebody who doesn't physically exist? Then you get that damn annoying voice from Kanye's song going 'Uh-huh Honey' every two minutes and it's just damn annoying.
8. The Vamps- Oh Cecilia!
Originally by Simon and Garfunkel, ruined by The Vamps. It was a nice cheesy, now it's just an irritating, overplayed song on Radio 1 sung by a bunch of ego inflated boys. I just don't like it. It's annoying. Radio 1, stop playing it. If you want to listen to a 'decent version', listen to the original.
9. John Ledgend- All of Me
I'm not really going to go into this one too much as it brings back a lot of very painful memories. I love a good soppy song but the fact this was played on repeat to me for the course of year made it drill into my skull and it was just really annoying. It gets played in Westfield a lot as well which makes me really really paranoid for some odd reason. Hopefully I can replace that song with new happier memories though.
10. MAGIC!- Rude
I thought this song was really catchy to start with, but then as I listened to it more and more, the lyrics became more and more obvious. Dude, if the old man doesn't personally want you to marry his daughter just go ahead and do it. It's not their in black and white that you're not obliged to marry her. You're saying you're going to marry her anyway no matter what he says yet you're sat there crying in a song about how he's saying no? It isn't logical. Quit being such a pussy and marry that girl, marry her anyway..
I know what you're thinking, a song about positive body image cannot be harmful or stupid to the people listening, but to enlighten you, this is awful. This song is basically shaming girls who are 'skinny bitches'. Now, whilst I think promoting the fact beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes is good, this is not the right way to go about it. Not all slim girls look down their noses at slightly bigger people. Also, some people just can't help being small whether it's from genetics or an eating disorder. The fact the artist has just put out that 'boys like a little more booty to hold at night' or referring to slim girls 'silicon Barbie dolls' doesn't show positive self esteem either, just the same message the media have been putting across to girls for god knows how long.."you need to look like this or you will be alone". 1) It's not ending the conflict between skinny and curvy girls 2) it's just objectifying the female anatomy. Plus the composition and vocals just really annoy me as well.
2. Nicki Minaj- Anaconda
Where do I start with this absolute catastrophe. The beat is annoying and the lyrics just consist of Nicki Minaj slut shaming herself and giving off the impression she is a complete gold digger. 'Bought my Alexander McQueen, he was keeping me stylish'. The amount of money you make, Nicki, I think you can buy your own friggin' Alexander McQueen. Again, there's the issue with body shaming as well. For those of you who don't get what the song is referring to, 'my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun' means 'my penis won't get excited unless you have a big bum, small waist and massive titties'. The bridge also includes Minaj cackling manically saying 'skinny bitches can get out the f*cking club'.
However, I find it slightly amusing how Nicki Minaj walked down the red carpet for an award ceremony or something and told numerous interviewers she was going to 'calm down' and keep her look 'classy' then two months later BOOM! She is wiggling her full moon in front of a camera for a music video. Quite frankly, if I was in a bar or club completely off my face I still wouldn't dance to that, the rhythm is that annoying.
3. Iggy Azalea ft. Rita Ora- Black Widow
I really don't get the concept of this song. It's named after an Australlian (emphasis on Australlian as Iggy Azalea composed the song with modern Japanese sounds) spider who eats its mate after having kids. The lyrics don't even fit together properly and the music video just isn't relevant. The song just consists of Iggy Azalea talking about how she's trying to hurt a guy who doesn't even give a shade of shit about her anyway, so my question is 'why bother?', with Rita Ora occasionally contributing with some chorus that doesn't even make sense. The video isn't even relevant. It's just about Rita and Iggy going off to kill random old dudes and dancing about with Samurai swords amongst Japanese blossom trees.
4. Lorde- Royals
I can see where this is going to go, she is seventeen and already has an amazing career lined up for her. I will be marked as jealous.
Now don't get me wrong, some of her music is great and she is stupidly beautiful. But, am I the only one who thinks she's trying a little too hard to be different and clever with her lyrics? There's being different and creative with lyrics and poetry, then there's just throwing random stuff that sounds all indie together to create a song that makes no sense. One good thing about this song though is that if you turn up the bass in your car, the sound quality is crackin' and it's great to cruise along to.
5. Will.i.am & Cody Wise- It's My Birthday
I think we can all agree that this was Summer 2014's most overplayed and annoying song. Not necessarily the dim-witted lyrics about going out, wasting money and speaking in Japanese but just because of how repetitive and long it is. The voices of both Will.i.am and Cody Wise put together make the most annoying combination. Also, it was just played too much. If it was played once every few days on the radio it would be a bit less annoying, but still really bad. Guys, please don't make any more songs together.
6. Frozen- Let it Go
I'm not going to blame Indina Menzel for this song because she didn't write it, the directors and script producers of Frozen did. But that is besides the point. This song has been in the charts since Christmas last year and has been played, sung and promoted over and over and over again. Because it's Christmas season now, it's going to get even worse yet again. I love the song, it makes me feel all Christmassy and the film is probably one of my favourites, but the amount of press this song got is ridiculous. Can we please bring another Frozen song into the light? Love is an Open Door? Frozen Heart? Give this one a rest and stop overplaying it, it's too good to get ruined.
7. Sigma- Nobody to Love
I don't know whether this is house music, drum and bass or whatever but regardless, it is annoying. 'I know you're tired of loving, of loving with nobody to love'. How is it emotionally possible to love when you physically do not have anyone to love? Is this person you are singing about like eye-fucking herself or in love with an imaginary person? She's loving somebody who doesn't physically exist? Then you get that damn annoying voice from Kanye's song going 'Uh-huh Honey' every two minutes and it's just damn annoying.
8. The Vamps- Oh Cecilia!
Originally by Simon and Garfunkel, ruined by The Vamps. It was a nice cheesy, now it's just an irritating, overplayed song on Radio 1 sung by a bunch of ego inflated boys. I just don't like it. It's annoying. Radio 1, stop playing it. If you want to listen to a 'decent version', listen to the original.
9. John Ledgend- All of Me
I'm not really going to go into this one too much as it brings back a lot of very painful memories. I love a good soppy song but the fact this was played on repeat to me for the course of year made it drill into my skull and it was just really annoying. It gets played in Westfield a lot as well which makes me really really paranoid for some odd reason. Hopefully I can replace that song with new happier memories though.
10. MAGIC!- Rude
I thought this song was really catchy to start with, but then as I listened to it more and more, the lyrics became more and more obvious. Dude, if the old man doesn't personally want you to marry his daughter just go ahead and do it. It's not their in black and white that you're not obliged to marry her. You're saying you're going to marry her anyway no matter what he says yet you're sat there crying in a song about how he's saying no? It isn't logical. Quit being such a pussy and marry that girl, marry her anyway..
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