Body Shaming

Over the past two years, social media has displayed an everlasting conflict between 'curvy' and 'skinny' girls. These are two completely different shapes but there seems to be a lot of stigma attached to each. Curvy girls seem to be more womanly, whilst skinny girls are anorexic or plastic according to recent trends and the media. However, we, as the general public, are bombarded with articles about how to be slimmer and more toned whilst curvy girls get slammed by the press for being careless about what they eat or for putting on weight. So what is the ideal shape? 

The answer? There is none! People come in all different shapes and sizes, as well as having different aspirations for what they would like to look like. If you have a healthy and balanced diet, are healthy and happy then there is no real problem. This is something everyone needs to know. There isn't a specific body shape that's more womanly, and there isn't a body shape that entitles us to make a false judgement on any individual without knowing them as a person. 

Here are some reasons that we have become a society which shames people for having diverse body shapes and aspirations, as well as a few solutions to resolve our attitudes and negative beliefs to one another. As girls, we demand respect for maintaining our appearances. How can we expect people to compliment us and recognize our efforts when we are constantly slating others for their own preferences and efforts to look and feel good? 

Questioning one another: 'Why are you so skinny/fat?'

This is a major problem, as stated above. We are so inquisitive and judgmental we actually shame one another by asking each other why we are the way we are. 

Skinny and fat are two completely different insults, but equally hurtful when dished out. How is being called skinny an insult, I hear you ask? You don't go round asking people or telling people that they are fat, because it hurts. The same applies for slightly more petite boys and girls. It can be hurtful when they are referred to as being 'skinny'. Asking these questions can be so demeaning and rude because there are many underlying issues to why someone could have their body shape, not just malnourishment or eating too many chips. 

 Why are you so skinny? I could have an eating disorder, high metabolism, diabetes, an illness that requires specific medication, genetics that just make me a bit smaller. 

Why are you so chubby? I could have also had an eating disorder, undetected thyroid problem, slower metabolism, bigger bone structure or medication, diabetes or another illness with medication that affects my weight.

Music and tabloid influences

This conflict has gotten so out of hand it's even inspired the likes of Meaghan Trainor to write a song called 'All about that Bass'. It's a very 'a spade is a spade' song as Trainor sees things in black and white. If you have curves boys will like you more, apparently. The issue with this is that it is teaching young girls to validate their bodies on what boys prefer, rather than satisfying yourself and being what you want to be. It also refers to petite girls as 'stick figure Barbie dolls'. The same goes for Nicki Minaj with Anaconda. A boy won't be satisfied unless you've got 'buns hun'. All the 'skinny bitches' should leave the nightclub and not have a good time. Again, we are ignoring any underlying issues. I can't imagine how hurtful it could be to hear that song if it's physically impossible for you to put on any weight. 

  It's not just against the small girls that are targeted. I remember years ago I was reading Marie Clare and there was an article reviewing a ballet performance, most of which involved the writer slating the dancer who played the role of the sugar plum fairy. The headline used was 'Dance of the Sugar Plump Fairy'. This infuriated me. The main photo used to illustrate the article was of this dancer and just to clarify, she was a perfect and healthy size for her height. By no means should you pay extortionate amounts of money for a top class production just to sit there and sneer at someone because of their body size. It takes a lot of strength and work to be a ballet dancer, as well as peak fitness, so what is the big hoo-hah? 

Memes and Social Media

On a daily basis there is always someone posting on Facebook about how bad it is to be skinny or curvy, yet no one makes an effort to post that despite your shape, size, race, religion...everyone is beautiful. There is too much bitching going on and sites like Facebook and Instagram should be used to say nice things and integrate with one another in a safe and friendly environment, not slamming each other because of our appearance. 

This was a photo commonly used in a meme titled 'When someone takes lmao to the next level'. For those of you who don't know, lmao is an acronym which stands for 'Laughing my fricking ass off'. This girl apparently has no bum and is being publicly humiliated because of it. It doesn't take an idiot to see she is petite. How do we know she doesn't have an eating disorder, is just naturally small or just a high metabolism? And here we are laughing at her! I'm sure if you were publicly shamed for your body shape you'd be deeply upset, so why do it to others?

This is also a very popular example which has been heavily broadcasted. This gentleman was spotted in a nightclub enjoying himself, as everyone deserves to do at the end of the week! So he has been photographed dancing then photographed after he has heard people laughing at him for his size. I personally feel this is disgraceful and shows just how cruel people are when it comes to judging complete strangers purely on their appearance. The fact he has been referred to as a 'specimen' because he is slightly larger doesn't give the situation any justice either. No matter how big or small you are, you are still human. Not an alien. 

What boys want

I vaguely touched on this when I spoke about Meaghan Trainor's debut single, All About That Bass. We've gotten into a bad habit of validating different body types based on what we think boys want. Some people think boys prefer girls with curves, others think boys prefer 'athletic' girls. The truth is, it really isn't for us to decide and we can't just generalize blokes for having a specific type. It's each to their own. Some boys don't really find me attractive for my facial features or body, but I have a boyfriend who values me and thinks I am beautiful inside and out. Why should we change ourselves based on an ideal type generated by the media? If every boy had a specific type generated by others, so if it was true all boys wanted curvy girls, we'd see billions of couples consisting of just a boy and a curvy girl which would be so boring. But do we see that? No. We just see a wide variety of couples, so guys with girls we may or may not find attractive because of their diverse facial features or body shape. So, is it our choice whether they go for one or the other? No. Beauty seriously is in the eye of the beholder. If a guy is attracted to a specific type or girl, leave them to it. It really isn't for us to decide. 

I think the message behind this post is just to be happy with yourself and really just ignore the people we find are putting us against each other. Whether you are big, small, athletic, curvy or whatever, you should just stay that way if you are healthy. If you want to be a certain way then that is entirely your choice. No one else's. Just yours! If you are happy with your shape then why should you change your shape to satisfy people on Facebook, a judgmental boy/girl or the media? 

There is no shape that is more attractive or superior than another. Whether it be because of underlying issues or personal preferences. The definition of beauty isn't in body mass but if you are healthy and happy with yourself and not what others think of you. 

So celebrate body diversity! It's what makes us unique and beautiful. Because if we were all the same, wouldn't the world be such a boring place to live?