30 Day Mental Health Awareness Challenge
I saw this challenge online and realized I haven't posted much about my mental health issues for a while, but that you guys liked reading my advice and thoughts towards mental health. So, here is a completely different format of me informing you about my diagnosis (in slightly more detail but keeping some information to myself) and raising awareness of such an important issue that affects 1 in 4 of the British population...
What is/are your mental illness(es)?
A few years back I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. Major Depressive Disorder and Insomnia. In December 2013 I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
How do you feel about your diagnosis?
It was kind of sad really, I was always a really happy child until I got to year 8. It scares me how 1 in 4 of the children I have worked with will get a mental health disorder at some point in their life.
What are the pros and cons of having your illness?
They've made me a stronger person and given me a bigger backbone (metaphorically). But they majorly disturb my daily routine. My anxiety has given me a fear of answering the door, phone or traveling via public transport. My PTSD also messes about with my head a lot and reduces my sleep due to nightmares.
What treatment/ coping skills did you receive?
I received support from CAMHSS as well as some private treatment from a local psychotherapist as CAMHS couldn't supply me with specialist support for my PTSD.
I was taught coping mechanisms such as mindfulness but this didn't work for me so I took up loads of art and bought loads of art journals to immerse myself into.
Do you believe nature (biology/physiology) or nurture (environment) affects mental health?
Both factors have a significant influence on someone to develop a mental health disorder. So for biology, you could be more prone to developing depression because of genetics. It has also been discovered by scientists that those who suffer from depression or anxiety have a smaller hypothalamus, found in the limbic system. Environmental conditions can also have an influence, so if you've been in situations or environments that you may find stressful you can develop mental disorders. For example, going into a school or arriving at a family home where abuse takes place may cause PTSD or anxiety.
Do you have a family history of mental illness?
I prefer not to go into it as it's not for me to say.
Do you think there are any triggers that effect your mental illnesses?
Yeah it sounds stupid but when people make jokes about sexual assault and rape it makes me aggressive and I'm more likely to panic and have nightmares because someone finds the concept of what happened to me amusing. And when unwanted men try and make a move or say something inappropriate/try to touch me. I don't react well to confrontation or making mistakes either as I get anxious if I feel I'm being told off.
What age were you diagnosed at? What age did you start to notice your symptoms?
I was diagnosed at the age of 15 but started to notice symptoms just before my 14th birthday.
What were some of the events that effected your mental illness for the worst or better?
Secondary school, the 'incident', getting into an abusive relationship and recently being ignored by people I once thought were my best friends.
What is the best thing in regards to your mental illness?
Erm, probably getting cuddles but then I'd get them without having a mental illness.
What is the worst thing in regards to your mental illness?
Unwanted memories and being deemed as an attention seeker for having panic attacks in public. It can also make me physically ill as well e.g. extremely painful headaches, heart palpitations, nausea and being sick.
What do you think about your diagnosis in general?
There's not much to think. What's done is done.
If you know the criteria of your mental illness, where do you stand?
I wasn't told the criteria. Everyone experiences different symptoms. I was just diagnosed and that was that.
Have you ever experienced stigma?
Too much for my liking. Occasional hypocritical stigma as well.
How has your life been been affected by mental illness?
Well, my education has. I surprised myself with my GCSE results as I was going through a lot at the time. But I wanted to be a pediatric nurse. Because of my anxiety and the fact that a lot of the people who bullied me were in my class, I lost concentration in my science lessons so I didn't get the grades needed to study science at A level in college. So I decided to do A levels which would make me fit to be a primary school teacher. When it came to my exams I wasn't allowed to revise at all, had a panic attack in my English exam, so I failed and wasn't allowed to re-take A levels. I was railroaded into a B-tech I didn't want to take. Now I have to go into more education at another college for two years when my anxiety is rocketing again.
How many people are you "out" to about your illness(es)?
I guess I'm pretty out to most people but in moderation. I'm more 'out' with my mum and Tom than anyone though.
If you could get rid of your illness(es) would you? Why?
In a heartbeat. Most of them have been caused by environmental factors which bring back unwanted memories. These memories make me feel regretful and weak. They also cause so many interruptions.
What do you wish people would understand in regards to mental health?
It's not glamorous or cool to have a mental health disorder. It is also an existing illness, even though you can't physically see the symptoms. It affects people dreadfully. Don't make it your place to judge just because you can't see someone's suffering.
Have you ever read a self-help book? What's your opinion on them?
I got given loads of them and Mum ordered me two. One was an activity book and the other was a short story. They can be good, you just have to choose the right time to read/complete them. Because obviously if you try to read/complete them on one of your bad days you will find yourself being overly skeptical towards any help or the idea you have a chance of getting better. Well, that was my case anyway. My version of self help is a Keri Smith activity book as they encourage creative expression.
Where do you get your support?
From Tom or my Mum.
Many people say stress can trigger symptoms, do you agree?
Yes, it triggers my anxiety.
What is your opinion on medication used to treat symptoms?
Personally for me it wasn't the best option. It was great at first but then I needed more and when I was given more fluoxetine it made me emotionally numb. I came off medication not long ago and stuck to natural remedies such as a balanced diet, exercise and St. John's Wort.
What is your opinion on therapy?
I don't know really, different things work for different people I guess. At the start of my CAMHS therapy I really thought my counsellor wasn't helping because she was telling me about mechanisms rather than letting me speak at first but then things did change in her defense. My private counsellor was someone I could really engage with as well, she didn't care if I was angry and shouted and swore or if I didn't want to talk. She could eventually get things out of me and make it better. Sometimes though I just wanted a hug from anyone, rather than talking and bringing stuff back up.
What are your opinions on alternative therapy?
I wouldn't really say any form of therapy is 'alternative', because everyone is suited to something different. As long as it helps people, my opinion towards it is positive.
What is your opinion on forced/coercion treatments in regards to mental health?
It depends on the situation. If someone was a danger to themselves and they were sectioned then they would obviously need specialist help and they deserve to get better. If a family member or friend is also active and always there helping and suggesting options for a loved one who has depression then this is good because it shows they are passionate to get towards the recovery stage.
How is your day-to-day life affected by your mental illness?
My anxiety is gradually getting worse at the moment and affects a lot of little things. For example, I get nervous about answering the phone and door, I never do it if I'm home alone. If there's other people in the house I just wait for them to do it. When I'm depressed I panic and make more mistakes which enhances my symptoms of anxiety, too. My PTSD affects me daily, I get flashbacks and nightmares at the slightest trigger, I have to avoid places that remind me of the event.
Explain a good day
Hyper mood, everything seems to be going right, always have something fun planned with loved ones, doing something that won't cause me stress.
Explain a bad day
Refusing/being too scared to get out of bed, very quiet, avoid conversations at all costs, lots of tears, flashbacks, not eating, very cuddly, reliant and attached to Tom if I'm with him.
What are a few of your goals regarding your mental health?
Forgetting everything completely, but I've been told by my counsellor that can never happen for anyone no matter how hard they try which sucks.
What does recovery mean to you?
Taking things one step at a time. It's ok to be upset on some days. Just take every day as it comes and put yourself first at times when it's necessary.
I'd like to tag anyone who reads this blog to do this if they have a mental health issue or suffer from any other invisible illness. Do you love someone that suffers from an invisible illness? Why don't you have a go too?!
What is/are your mental illness(es)?
A few years back I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. Major Depressive Disorder and Insomnia. In December 2013 I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
How do you feel about your diagnosis?
It was kind of sad really, I was always a really happy child until I got to year 8. It scares me how 1 in 4 of the children I have worked with will get a mental health disorder at some point in their life.
What are the pros and cons of having your illness?
They've made me a stronger person and given me a bigger backbone (metaphorically). But they majorly disturb my daily routine. My anxiety has given me a fear of answering the door, phone or traveling via public transport. My PTSD also messes about with my head a lot and reduces my sleep due to nightmares.
What treatment/ coping skills did you receive?
I received support from CAMHSS as well as some private treatment from a local psychotherapist as CAMHS couldn't supply me with specialist support for my PTSD.
I was taught coping mechanisms such as mindfulness but this didn't work for me so I took up loads of art and bought loads of art journals to immerse myself into.
Do you believe nature (biology/physiology) or nurture (environment) affects mental health?
Both factors have a significant influence on someone to develop a mental health disorder. So for biology, you could be more prone to developing depression because of genetics. It has also been discovered by scientists that those who suffer from depression or anxiety have a smaller hypothalamus, found in the limbic system. Environmental conditions can also have an influence, so if you've been in situations or environments that you may find stressful you can develop mental disorders. For example, going into a school or arriving at a family home where abuse takes place may cause PTSD or anxiety.
Do you have a family history of mental illness?
I prefer not to go into it as it's not for me to say.
Do you think there are any triggers that effect your mental illnesses?
Yeah it sounds stupid but when people make jokes about sexual assault and rape it makes me aggressive and I'm more likely to panic and have nightmares because someone finds the concept of what happened to me amusing. And when unwanted men try and make a move or say something inappropriate/try to touch me. I don't react well to confrontation or making mistakes either as I get anxious if I feel I'm being told off.
What age were you diagnosed at? What age did you start to notice your symptoms?
I was diagnosed at the age of 15 but started to notice symptoms just before my 14th birthday.
What were some of the events that effected your mental illness for the worst or better?
Secondary school, the 'incident', getting into an abusive relationship and recently being ignored by people I once thought were my best friends.
What is the best thing in regards to your mental illness?
Erm, probably getting cuddles but then I'd get them without having a mental illness.
What is the worst thing in regards to your mental illness?
Unwanted memories and being deemed as an attention seeker for having panic attacks in public. It can also make me physically ill as well e.g. extremely painful headaches, heart palpitations, nausea and being sick.
What do you think about your diagnosis in general?
There's not much to think. What's done is done.
If you know the criteria of your mental illness, where do you stand?
I wasn't told the criteria. Everyone experiences different symptoms. I was just diagnosed and that was that.
Have you ever experienced stigma?
Too much for my liking. Occasional hypocritical stigma as well.
How has your life been been affected by mental illness?
Well, my education has. I surprised myself with my GCSE results as I was going through a lot at the time. But I wanted to be a pediatric nurse. Because of my anxiety and the fact that a lot of the people who bullied me were in my class, I lost concentration in my science lessons so I didn't get the grades needed to study science at A level in college. So I decided to do A levels which would make me fit to be a primary school teacher. When it came to my exams I wasn't allowed to revise at all, had a panic attack in my English exam, so I failed and wasn't allowed to re-take A levels. I was railroaded into a B-tech I didn't want to take. Now I have to go into more education at another college for two years when my anxiety is rocketing again.
How many people are you "out" to about your illness(es)?
I guess I'm pretty out to most people but in moderation. I'm more 'out' with my mum and Tom than anyone though.
If you could get rid of your illness(es) would you? Why?
In a heartbeat. Most of them have been caused by environmental factors which bring back unwanted memories. These memories make me feel regretful and weak. They also cause so many interruptions.
What do you wish people would understand in regards to mental health?
It's not glamorous or cool to have a mental health disorder. It is also an existing illness, even though you can't physically see the symptoms. It affects people dreadfully. Don't make it your place to judge just because you can't see someone's suffering.
Have you ever read a self-help book? What's your opinion on them?
I got given loads of them and Mum ordered me two. One was an activity book and the other was a short story. They can be good, you just have to choose the right time to read/complete them. Because obviously if you try to read/complete them on one of your bad days you will find yourself being overly skeptical towards any help or the idea you have a chance of getting better. Well, that was my case anyway. My version of self help is a Keri Smith activity book as they encourage creative expression.
Where do you get your support?
From Tom or my Mum.
Many people say stress can trigger symptoms, do you agree?
Yes, it triggers my anxiety.
What is your opinion on medication used to treat symptoms?
Personally for me it wasn't the best option. It was great at first but then I needed more and when I was given more fluoxetine it made me emotionally numb. I came off medication not long ago and stuck to natural remedies such as a balanced diet, exercise and St. John's Wort.
What is your opinion on therapy?
I don't know really, different things work for different people I guess. At the start of my CAMHS therapy I really thought my counsellor wasn't helping because she was telling me about mechanisms rather than letting me speak at first but then things did change in her defense. My private counsellor was someone I could really engage with as well, she didn't care if I was angry and shouted and swore or if I didn't want to talk. She could eventually get things out of me and make it better. Sometimes though I just wanted a hug from anyone, rather than talking and bringing stuff back up.
What are your opinions on alternative therapy?
I wouldn't really say any form of therapy is 'alternative', because everyone is suited to something different. As long as it helps people, my opinion towards it is positive.
What is your opinion on forced/coercion treatments in regards to mental health?
It depends on the situation. If someone was a danger to themselves and they were sectioned then they would obviously need specialist help and they deserve to get better. If a family member or friend is also active and always there helping and suggesting options for a loved one who has depression then this is good because it shows they are passionate to get towards the recovery stage.
How is your day-to-day life affected by your mental illness?
My anxiety is gradually getting worse at the moment and affects a lot of little things. For example, I get nervous about answering the phone and door, I never do it if I'm home alone. If there's other people in the house I just wait for them to do it. When I'm depressed I panic and make more mistakes which enhances my symptoms of anxiety, too. My PTSD affects me daily, I get flashbacks and nightmares at the slightest trigger, I have to avoid places that remind me of the event.
Explain a good day
Hyper mood, everything seems to be going right, always have something fun planned with loved ones, doing something that won't cause me stress.
Explain a bad day
Refusing/being too scared to get out of bed, very quiet, avoid conversations at all costs, lots of tears, flashbacks, not eating, very cuddly, reliant and attached to Tom if I'm with him.
What are a few of your goals regarding your mental health?
Forgetting everything completely, but I've been told by my counsellor that can never happen for anyone no matter how hard they try which sucks.
What does recovery mean to you?
Taking things one step at a time. It's ok to be upset on some days. Just take every day as it comes and put yourself first at times when it's necessary.
I'd like to tag anyone who reads this blog to do this if they have a mental health issue or suffer from any other invisible illness. Do you love someone that suffers from an invisible illness? Why don't you have a go too?!
Stay safe and strong xo
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